Finding Myself While Losing the Stuff

So, I had an epiphany, something I read that Dr. Oz said. So I dragged my recliner to the curb, and replaced it with a dining chair and a stair stepper. THIS IS A REAL CHANGE!!!

Insight - The recliner was a "safe" place. I didn't know that. I knew my car was a safe place. My house as a whole is a safe place. The two locations where I sit to write (one upstairs, one down are safe places. My bed is a safe place, of course.

But the chair. From a second-hand store? Orange? (Ugh!) Raggedy, frayed, dog chewed, rump-sprung? Yup! One of the safest places in the house. Who knew?

The dining chair has a long way to go to feel safe. Just a fact of life. The stair-stepper is WAY out of my comfort zone.

I will observe, over time, to see how I can deal with this one.

Finding Myself in the Process

In this quest for Four Yellow Plates Consciousness, I have been getting rid of paper. I finally opened the file drawers that hold personal development material. When I first came into contact with coaching, it was a revelation. I was looking for the perfect career.

Back story - In the seventies I found out about the cathartic and energizing relief that comes from good gestalt therapy work. So I went to college to learn how to do that. Ten years later I had a BA in clinical psychology. Needing a license and unwilling to put in the time for a doctorate, I went to grad school for social work. Big problem. Social work deals with "sick" people. I didn't want to work with "sick" people.

Then, epiphany. CBS made a "magazine" story about a man who lived in a palace of an RV, went wherever he wanted to go, and "coached" people via phone. Thomas Leonard. These coachees then became successful. Eureka! Not-sick people. Hooray! I wanted it.

I bought Thomas's book, The Portable Coach. I took his classes. I joined his new website, Coachville. I thrived on the excitement. Just think, a personal development method that was desined to move along "well" people.

Combining my need to know, your basic Gemini curiosity and an inbred feeling of intellectual inferiority, e.g., "I don't know enough," "I don't know as much as the 'real' people," ad nauseum.

So, I read. Mostly internet. And needing to "own" the info, I printed it out. Sorted, organized and filed it. And never looked at it again. Forgot it was there except as a nagging future onus to read again. And make some "use" of it. Four large file drawers full. Sheesh! I was still hosting this trove of printed matter.

Do you know - this week I have gone through almost all of it, and thrown out 90% of what I found. Bonus, I found a lot of stuff I wrote in the seventies and early eighties that I thought was lost forever. I will type it into a digital medium (can you imagine that this good stuff was written before I had access to a computer?) And post a link here when it is done.

Here's what I am learning about myself doing this task.

• Most of what I thought I didn't know I do know
• Last year's treasure is this year's landfill (or recycling)
• I am just as happy doing drive-by coaching instead of hanging out a shingle
• A trip to the dumpster feels as good as a big BM.