This year’s first walkabout takes me and the dogs to central Virginia for a week at Monroe (http://www.monroeinstitute.org). And then up to Lowville, NY to see Aunty Tam, my mother’s youngest sister, her collection of descendents and their descendents, and then to Sudbury, Ontario, to visit BFF, Andrea. Not sure of the return route.

I subscribe to the theory that all life is a school. That one can (and should) learn from every event. May or may not be true, but it is a fun way to live. And I actually do believe that I am growing as I learn.

Here are some things I learned getting ready for the trip:
• Completing a chunk of prep gives me energy to attack the next chunk.
• I make BIG mistakes when I am tired.
• I don’t need anywhere near all the stuff I have.
• I don’t need all the stuff I’ve packed, but even if I don’t use it, I would feel naked without it (for instance the bag of art supplies).
• I don’t need to travel with my dogs – it might even be easier to travel without them – but (1) I don’t know what else to do with them that they would like half as much as a life made up totally of car rides and new trees to smell, and (2) most of the time I love to have them along.
• I am very strong in terms of endurance – and sometimes even patience – but I am not as strong as I have been.


And on the trip:
• I am afraid of unknown things. For instance today I went well out of my way in order to find a Motel 6. See I know Motel 6 will be clean and will always take my dogs. I have had some really bad experiences on other walkabouts relying on chance to find a dog friendly motel, stopping again and again, getting tireder and tireder, even dinging my bumper because I was too tired to see the pole and finally etc., etc. Sufficient to say I rely on Motel 6.

I got a real gem from packing that fits into my thinking around the Four Yellow Plates Consciousness (which is the current endeavor, read earlier posts). I have always had trouble packing the toiletries kit for any trip. I know I need the basics – toothbrush and paste, deodorant, shower puff, body wash, shampoo, conditioner – but what about the other stuff – facial cleanser, moisturizer, which this, which that?

For many people, this would seem elementary, a no brainer, yes? But I figured it out for me. I KNOW why I don’t know. It’s because I do not have a routine. And I don’t have a routine because I don’t have a clear understanding of the process, or of the desired or possible result. Makes sense, doesn’t it? I can’t narrow down what I will need if I don’t know what I do need.

I can’t tell what I will need of saved information until I know what I will do with saved information. I can’t tell what I will need of broken plates until I know what I will make with broken plates.
• Of clothing, until I know where I will wear it
• Of clothing, until I know who I want to play at being in it
• Of books, until I know what I will want to know
• Of books, until I know what I want to do, or where I want to be transported.

So I need to examine every pile and collection and make sure I know what I want to do with that pile - the results and a plan to get there - then everything else can go. Winnowing down my “gotta” list, my “someday” list, my “oughta” lists until they are less of a burden and I have achieved Four Yellow Plates Consciousness in how I think about myself and what I expect of myself.

I thought the trip would put a temporary halt to my FYP work, but instead it has given me some serious clarity.

Finding Myself While Losing the Stuff

So, I had an epiphany, something I read that Dr. Oz said. So I dragged my recliner to the curb, and replaced it with a dining chair and a stair stepper. THIS IS A REAL CHANGE!!!

Insight - The recliner was a "safe" place. I didn't know that. I knew my car was a safe place. My house as a whole is a safe place. The two locations where I sit to write (one upstairs, one down are safe places. My bed is a safe place, of course.

But the chair. From a second-hand store? Orange? (Ugh!) Raggedy, frayed, dog chewed, rump-sprung? Yup! One of the safest places in the house. Who knew?

The dining chair has a long way to go to feel safe. Just a fact of life. The stair-stepper is WAY out of my comfort zone.

I will observe, over time, to see how I can deal with this one.

Baby Steps

So I want to take a look at a couple of things here, (1) How much is enough? (2) Do I have enough? (3) Where do I have more than enough? (4) Am I even capable of getting rid of excess? I thought I would starts with one of the easiest areas - the refrigerator.

Door - top shelf; soy milk, ok; V-8, ok; greens powder, probiotics, flaxseed oil, all ok. This is easy. Next shelf - Do I really need three kinds of mustard? How many are (Four Yellow Plates Consciousness) enough? Sheesh! I don't know. Salads need dijon, brown for hot dogs. Strange gift mustard I never use, toss. Washing each shelf gives clean refrig and feeling of very-good-girl-ness.

Science experiments, out - a lot of them - I decide I am (1) wasteful, and (2) unconscious. Having too much leads to waste - what a good thing to know. Unconsciousness looms large as an undesirable trait. Add these insights to knowledge pile. (Sheesh! Pile increasement is not part of the exercise.)

Good, healthy food, keep. (Oh! I forgot I had that! ) Mental meal planning is ticking over like the totals on a gas pump. Twenty minutes and a full garbage bag later, I have a sparkling refrigerator and I have learned more about myself and my hoarding habits.

• Having too much leads to waste.
• Unconsciousness leads to having too much.

Let's get conscious! I will keep these in mind as this experiment/focus progreses. Now what will I tackle next?